girl: babe come over
boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl: my parents aren't home
boy: I know
theonion:

Friend’s Threats To Come Visit Becoming Disturbingly More Genuine
whispersofthefaeries:

Follow for [Nature] [Fauna] [Style] [Noms] [Decor]

mad cause the guy i’m hooking up with is a fucking douchebag

nichvlas:

i just wanna cuddle naked with you and see who gives in first tbh